Latest update about #Refaat according to his family.
Let It Be A Tail
KITES
Death 247
Possibly Refaat Alareer‘s very last poem, though I believe he did translate 2 poems after writing this one.
Honey, I’m Home!
One of my most beloved friends, was assassinated by the ZioNazis on the 6th of December 2023, Refaat was killed along with his brother Salah and one of his brother’s children, Muhammad. His sister Asmaa and three of her children
– Alaa, Yahya and Muhammad – were also killed, in addition to one of their neighbors.
Other family members were also injured by the Israeli attack.
A bit less than 2 months prior to this, on the 13th of October, Refaat Alareer wrote me in one of his messages “I gift some of my poetry to you”, and to that he attached a link – https://thisisgaza.wordpress.com/category/my-poetry/ . At the time I thought it heart-warming and sweet. I did know his wordpress page, I did know his poetry… But he now gifted them to me.
Today I thought that it might mean that now they are mine, now I need to share them.
The last few years I have learnt and I have grown, but I was also bedridden and paralysed and alone, with Lyme. So I have no written… and the more tired and isolated I have been to more difficult it has become. Refaat tried a few times to get me teaching a Shakespeare course with him, in the Islamic University of Gaza… and I was so honoured that I shied away, not certain whether my low energy level would suffice.
My loved ones are being slaughtered. If you knew them as well as I do, you would have loved them too. Every day there are 10 publications publishing exactly the same thing. I reckon reading ElectronicIntifada.net is quite enough, with a difference of an hour or two, everyone will have published the same discoveries.
So how can I add to it?
No idea. But Refaat gifted me his poetry, so I must try.
Angel, 14 Dec, 2023, Salvador Bahia, Brasil
Black Hands; White Hands; Indigenous Hands — United!
Sunday, 28.10.2018, 11am, Salvador, Brazil. Election Day.
A hundred, or so, people are gathering at Vila Velha Theatre. Everyone has already voted, and we are all there to take part in the closing act of the 11th International Festival of Stage Arts in Bahia. We are going to be “Excavating“, digging together within ourselves, searching with our ant-brain after a deeper meaning of a word. The word of the day — Brazil.
This might as well be the last day of the last festival, If Bolsonaro will rise into power and fulfil his promises to cut support for the culture. But the worry in the hall is running deeper — culture, education and the lives of our loved ones, are all things Bolsonaro promised to destroy once in power.
Brazil, Says the moderator, and after a silence people start adding words – Working under the sun; Enjoying the beach; Poor people working in the sun so that rich people could enjoy the beach; … Poor people cutting in the sun; Cutting Brazil; Brazil is bleeding; Brazil is a body; Body has limits;…[one hour later]… United! United! United! United! United! ; Black Hands, White hands, Indigenous Hands — United! ; [everyone is holding hands and repeating as a mantra] ; Black Hands White Hands Indigenous Hands United!
I cry, and I am not alone.
…[Half an hour later] ; Brazil will be happy again!
We, the excavators, rise up in confusion, hug one another in what could be the last moment of the last festival, and walk out under the sun, marking the last hours before we knew for sure.
Brazilian Universities are taking a political stand.
The Federal University of Bahia had sent its students out on the street,in defence of democracy.
The students joined a demonstration over 150000 people demanding to guard the Brazilian democracy and not to vote for Bolsonario, the neonazi candidate, in the coming elections on Sunday. Dancing, Playing music and calling tributes to Marielle and Mestre Moa, the demonstrators headed to the Farol, Barra, where Haddad – the candidate opposing Bolsonario and in face the only other candidate, was to greet them.
Universities taking a political stand is not a common sight in the world, but neither is a candidate who openly threatens their very existence.
Brazil is burning!
The last few weeks have been very intense, for me personally and for the nation as a whole.
I do not feel inspired to write again.
I do not feel like re establishing old connections with publications ( – i do like to publish on paper).
I have no computer. Yet people are dying; the federal police is entering the universities; people are afraid to walk out in the street with a red shirt: the dancers are marching; Roger Waters is making a tribute to a friend: Dona Maria Neves wish she were dead: Dona Cici is morning the lost dances of the Orixás, that no one wants to learn; Denny is fighting for the last 600 years of culture to be acknowledged and we are all preparing for the military dictatorship to be elected into power by the Afro-Brazilian community and the LGBT+ while we watch the same communities being killed out.
So I will write.
Without a computer and without enough headspace to proofread, without starting a new and better webpage, and without making it look beautiful.
Out hearts are bleeding here and now, and you will have to forgive me.
Habimah, the National Theatre, is committed to…
The National Theatre of Norway is cooperating on a project with Habima, the national theatre of Israel. Hanne Tømta, the director of the Norwegian National Theatre, is explaining why she chose not to boycott Habimah. On the theatre’s website Hanne is writing that she made it clear to Ilan Ronen that the cooperation would stop the minute Habimah would play in Ariel. Hanne is also reassuring us that “Habima is a national theater with a wide social mission. It caters to Jews and Muslims, secular and believers, young and old, from city and country.”
Here are the 18 paragraphs Habimah is committed to..
Have fun looking between the lines for the hiding 50% of Israel’s residents. If you fail to, do not despair, you can try again with the 20% who do have an Israeli citizenship.
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artistic, cultural, social and educational values, and to implementing them at the highest level.
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aiming particularly high artistically, by performing quality performances – artistically, from the best theatre productions, promoting theatrical national goals.
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maintaining the artistic freedom of the various creators, out of artistic considerations of the highest professional level, in all areas of theatre productions.
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the existence of a dedicated framework that would act in the spirit of the cultural heritage of the Jewish people in its various communities through Jewish theatrical creation in Israel and in the world.
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performing primarily in Hebrew, while ensuring the preservation of the Hebrew language and its correctness.
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encouraging and promoting original Israeli playwriting of high quality, innovative and daring, both in content and in its artistic expression, anchored in the Israeli experience.
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being a faithful reflection of the multicultural society in Israel.
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re-producing Israeli masterpieces with new directing that gives a fresh interpretation of classical texts.
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integration of the original playwriting with the finest global playwriting both classical and modern from various cultures and periods in exemplary Hebrew translations .
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running a permanent ensemble of outstanding artists and performers, whose activities would be identified with the National Theatre’s vision and their work will create a unique theatrical language to the national theatre.
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producing plays and especially in Habimahs halls proper, while reaching out to diverse target audiences in order to bring them from all over the country to the permanent residence of the national theatre.
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locating talented young creative artists and creating frameworks that would promote continuous cultivation of vocational training among the creating and performing artists who work at the theatre .
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nurturing a young generation of theatre-goers, educating for intelligent viewing and creating cooperation with the education system in order to advance theatre and for the creation of theatrical awareness among young audiences all over the country.
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the establishment of archive services open to the general public with plays, photographs, sketches, maquettes and other documentary materials, which will illustrate the tradition and history of the National Theatre and of the Israeli theatrical creation from its inception to the present.
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establishing quality professional workshops which would meet the needs of the Israeli theatre, among them workshops, in directing, writing and playing of original Israeli exemplary texts, including biblical texts.
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creating cooperation with artists and theatre lovers ,in a number if theatre centres in the periphery. These partnerships will be reflected in the establishment of studio classes in Hebrew and other languages as well as in the production of high-quality independent theatrical pieces and performing them in front of the viewers in the periphery.
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promoting multicultural creation and bringing a diverse audience to the National Theatre, hosting productions by peripheral theatre centres, by acting schools, by experimental workshops and by unusual and talented artists in the early stages of their careers.
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encouraging and nurturing partnerships and relationships with other theatres in Israel and other national theatres worldwide,
Acting Shakespeare
Sonnet 130
Sonnet 138
or
Twelfth Night
She left no ring with me
2.2 Original Pronunciation
3.1 Original Pronunciation
Gaza’s Stories
Blood, destruction and tears
The smell of the remains of my family
And the sound of wailing and groans
A few borrowed lines from Salim Assi (Translation from Arabic Angel Fox), Gaza’s Story,
“Hurt them like we hurt Hizbullah, until it was not worth it for them to go on”
“It is permitted to bomb an urban area, as crowded as it may be” to “create deterrence, and they [the resistance] will realise it does not pay them off to use their rockets.” Prof Asa Kasher
“The IDF is a moral army, and criticising it is an act against democracy. I am in favour of targeted killings because the moral explanation behind it is very good.” are some of the statements made by Prize laureate and ethics-expert Prof Asa Kasher, in an interview with Israel Hayom on the 8th of August 2014.
I’ve asked Jamal Daher, a writer, researcher, and the Chairperson of the Department of Philosophy at Birzeit University to analyse Prof Kasher’s statements: “Prof Kasher does not speak as a philosopher but he is also not only The Occupier, but The Fascist Occupier.”
Prof. Asa Kasher was quoted saying on the 8th of August:
“ We meet the requirements of morality. Talking about the number of dead is irrelevant. It is not an indicative of the lack of rigour of the army or of wrong doing. I am in favour of targeted killings because the moral explanation behind it is very good. My point of view is that it is permitted to bomb an urban area – as crowded as it may be – when there is a person who is planning terrorist acts in it, despite the possibility of death of unrelated people around him.
In the midst of a war criticism does not help, it is a shot in the back. During the war tens of thousands of people are in a situation of life or death. Therefore, one should not interfere. Criticism has no place at this moment.
World opinion? They do not understand anything and have a vague and superficial goodness which leads them to momentary identification with the underdog. It has nothing to do with reality and nothing to do with the norms.” 1
Jamal Daher: ”Limiting the conversation to the ethics of the Israeli “Defence” Forces in Gaza is risky. Not to hold Israel accountable internationally for its practices in Gaza is not only a breach of ethical standards, but also of laws and of international treaties.”
1,975 people were killed in Gaza, 71% of them verified civilians (only 13% verified armed forces), 459 of them children, 10,197 Palestinians are injured, 365,000 are in emergency shelters or with host families (UN figures on the morning of 15.08.14) Are all of us who oppose this massacre irrational emotional fools?
“I am in favour of targeted killings” Asa Kasher
In 2004 Prof Kasher took part in an IDF forum who formulated what is known as “The ethics code for war on terror”. Without going into details (at least 7 out of the 11 articles have clearly been broken, but I could only verify them on Wikipedia ), not only does this range of ethical rules not constitute a reference to the practices of Israeli “Defence” Forces in Gaza, but it does not constitute a reference to the statements made by Prof Asa Kasher himself – like his statement “My point of view is the it is permitted to bomb an urban area, as crowded as it may be, when there is a person who is planning terrorist acts in it, despite the possibility of death of unrelated people around him.”
Jamal: “Such statement is not one made by a philosopher, but by an occupier who ignores the problem of war crimes while concentrating on achieving its objectives.”
But Prof Kasher does not stop there: “To say that one rocket from Gaza or from the north means we failed, is a complete misunderstanding. In the new wars our goals can not be zero rockets. This is a complete misunderstanding of the situation. We have to reach a situation where our military action would create deterrence, and they will realize it does not pay them off to use their rockets.”
What does Kasher actually mean? “it is permitted to bomb an urban area, as crowded as it may be” to “created deterrence, and they (the resistance) will realize it does not pay them off to use their rockets.”
Jamal Daher: “Palestinian citizens, men, women and children, are the target of Israeli military operations. Meaning, in other words, that residential areas are not hit because of the presence of Palestinian resistance, but are a goal in itself.” – and that without being criticised.
“In the midst of a war criticism is a shot in the back.” Asa Kasher
So when is a good time to criticise Israel? According to Prof Kasher the answer is simple – Never.
A clue to understanding Prof. Kashers’s opinion about this question can be found back in 2004 when Israeli conscientious objectors started gathering together and writing various public letter explaining the reasons behind their objection. While discussing such letters in front of student in Ben-Gurion university, Prof kasher made the following statement:
“Such a thing as writing the letter is an act of breaking the law. It is civil disobedience. In a democracy there is supremacy of compliance with the law”2
“And it is also not permissible to criticize the army during the war,” says Jamal Daher “Even the title Prof Kasher’s opposition gave him – ‘Occupation Philosopher’ – is not quite accurate, Prof Kasher does not speak as a philosopher but he is also not only The Occupier, but The Fascist Occupier. As a reminder, the idea “supremacy of compliance with the law and / or command of the military” was not taken up by a court before the trial of the Nazis in World War II.”
“Prof Kasher wants the machinery of the Israeli military to be used on civilian population in order for the Palestinians to understand that “it does not pay them off to use their rockets.” And he even considers those who criticise such use of civilians’ lives and their property, to be breaking the law. Law breakers should be imprisoned.
Does it not remind us (again) of Nazi Germany?”
“In a democracy there is supremacy of compliance with the law” Asa Kasher
Criticizing the behaviour of soldiers in a battle does not constitute a contradiction with democracy. On the contrary, it confirms one of the most important elements in the heart of democratic freedom, which is the freedom of expression. Moreover, ethics is only relevant when the circumstances are “normal” – and when we talk about the army, the examination of ethics should be done at war-time and not at peace-time. It is much more important for public intellectuals in times of war than it is in times of peace, to express their critical opinions against the behaviour of the state because it is their very role to try their utmost best to correct the behaviour of that state by raising its awareness to the fact that it is committing crimes against humanity.
1. Asa Kasher, “Criticism at time of war is a shot in the back”, Israel Hayom, 8th august 2014, (accessed 16th aug 2014) 2. Asa Kasher, “Prof Asa Kasher against the objectors”, ynet.co.il, 18th January 2004, (accessed 16th Aug 2014)
We teach Life. AKA Newborn in Gaza, Update
Since I have published the post “Newborn in Gaza” a few events have happened which I would like to add as an update.
Some say there were 1400 babies born in Gaza since the beginning of Israel’s ground invasion.
A new baby, 25 days old, has just been reported injured
Beautiful baby girl Shayma e-Sheikh Qanan — who was saved from the womb of her dead mother who was 8 months pregnant — died. Shayma, named after her mother, died at the age of 5 days when a power failure, cause by Israel bombing Gaza’s power station, stopped the incubator she was in.
A young life taken by the brutality of Israel, for no need. She was not a terrorist.
I like the picture below where she is in the incubator protected by the picture of her martyr mother. She was not protected enough. She was buried beside her mother.
In the tweet you would find a link to the beautiful memorial site Humanizepalestine
Other babies died due to the power cut
or had difficulties due to it
Within the sadness there is always someone who cares
and… are there no milk donors?
This Is Gaza! Life always wins!
and from January
We teach life.
Bellow is the original post, as published on the 26th of July 2014
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NEWBORN IN GAZA
Babies are the worst enemy of the Zionist project. They are considered to be a Demographic Threat and are directly targeted – by snipers, by calculated malnutrition and by chemical weapon aiming at causing their mothers to miscarry and their fathers to become sterile.
Meet some of these terrorists-
Baby Shaymaa was saved. Born from 23-yr-old killed mother Shaymaa Qennan.
Here is another beautiful baby.
Also UNWRA’s shelters became a place for birth. As those shelters were later bombed, a further investigation concerning the wellbeing of mother and baby is required.
could not verify whether this is the picture of the UNRWA baby
Some newborn, could not be saved. This baby is one of the youngest death from Gaza. His mum was about to give birth 2 him & was killed. The baby couldn’t be saved
and another one whose name I do not know
The reason they are not the youngest to be killed is that many women miscarry
Or are being murdered pregnant
But no form of inhumane oppression brought upon by the Occupation has the power to stop LIFE
In memory: Ahmad Ibrahim Shbeir
People in Gaza are being murdered by the 100s. They all have faces and stories. Check out this beautiful memorial page.
Ahmad Ibrahim Shbeir, 24 years old, was killed on Tuesday, July 22, 2014 in Khan Younis, after the Israeli army fired a missile at him while on his motorcycle. Hani Awad Sammour, 27 years old, was also killed during this attack, and many more were injured.
Source: IMEMC
In Memory: Asem, Eman, & Ibrahim Ammar
Have a look at all their blog entries. Pictures and small stories of dear lives murdered by #Israel.
Asem Khalil Abed Ammar, 4 years old, was killed in the Shuja’iyya massacre in Gaza on July 20, 2014.
His siblings Eman Khalil Abed Ammar, 9 years old, and Ibrahim Khalil Abed Ammar, 13 years old, were also killed in the massacre.
Newborn in #Gaza.
Babies are the worst enemy of the Zionist project. They are considered to be a Demographic Threat and are directly targeted – by snipers, by calculated malnutrition and by chemical weapon aiming at causing their mothers to miscarry and their fathers to become sterile.
Meet some of these terrorists-
Baby Shaymaa was saved. Born from 23-yr-old killed mother Shaymaa Qennan.
Here is another beautiful baby.
Also UNWRA’s shelters became a place for birth. As those shelters were later bombed, a further investigation concerning the wellbeing of mother and baby is required.
could not verify whether this is the picture of the UNRWA baby
Some newborn, could not be saved. This baby is one of the youngest death from Gaza. His mum was about to give birth 2 him & was killed. The baby couldn’t be saved
and another one whose name I do not know
The reason they are not the youngest to be killed is that many women miscarry
Or are being murdered pregnant
But no form of inhumane oppression brought upon by the Occupation has the power to stop LIFE
A story for Salem Shamaly, 20 yrs old, murdered by an Israeli sniper.
After the video and the pictures comes a short story.
This video from 20th July 2014 is of Salem Shamaly being shot repeatedly by an Israeli sniper. Very graphic.
The sound of the drones over the camp is irritating me, like a mosquito inside ones ear which would neither go away not be quieted, on the contrary – your ear is getting red from the slapping you are inflicting upon yourself. I was trying to figure out whether there is anything interesting in this metaphor, or was it a simile, when one of those irritating hovering cameras came down. I sprayed it with water and it emitted this disgusting purple smoke. It was not so long ago the Zios started using them and now they are everywhere, eyes of high tec from another dimension peeping into our fucked up world. The monitor above my head went into white noise and started replaying the video of the death of Salem Shamaly. I have not noticed it had repaired itself, after the broadcast I would shoot it again.
I remember the first time I have watched the video of Salem, it was before the fighting began, when I was still hoping to become a student at the end of the summer. I was watering the plants on the roof of our shed when the small monitors, hanging everywhere around the camp, started flickering and the resistance started broadcasting – it is easy to know it is the resistance because anything which is not the golden studio is always them. The film was over 100 years old, from a far away land – funny that they had Zios there too, but anyway – I was not intending to watch it.
I recall the smell of something burning at a remote corner or the camp, I tried to identify whether it was paper or meat, but it smelled like neither. The Asian looking girl was passing by our shed, and changed her posture ever so slightly, like she did every single time she was passing by our shed, which was often. It made me uncomfortable and I pretended to be concentrating on something else, on the flickering monitor. I was still bothered by the smell of the smoke, it was not a joint, what was it then? My eyes were gazing through the images projected onto my iris, and all of a sudden I felt like a knife turning in my stomach, and it wouldn’t let go.
I have seen more graphic images in my life, more colours and body parts, yet this one video was the worst – Can in be true, that such a person existed?..the missing person, the sniper!
He existed and the world did nothing. He was not a brainwashed teen – as I often wanted to believe when similar incidents happened in our camp – with a girlfriend and a mom and such, no, he was a coldblooded sniper. He aimed to kill. Once Twice Trice…he is shooting Salem in order to kill him; because Salem is looking for his relative under the rubble; because Salem is alive, with a loving heart beating in his chest, and the sniper cannot tolerate it, so he shots to kill. The evil BASTARD Shoots him for Fun! My own shouting voice woke me up from the reality of the far away Gaza, for a second I was aware of the Asian girl giggling nervously, of smoke, but it all vanished again into a vortex leaving me alone with the sniper.
WHY? I shouted at him.
For fun – he replied – because I could.
I looked into his eyes, he was old now, old and proud. He had never been held accountable, he went back home as a hero, his girlfriend hugged him softly, they made love, like in the stories, he was on top of the world – he had the power to kill at will.
He was nothing but evil and I wished him dead, captured, traumatised. What was he turning me into? Is there really a whole nation made out of people like him?
A seedpod was swirling in the air and landed on my head; I saw a duck; the girl was gone and I’ve heard strange chatter; half the camp was on fire. I wanted to force everyone to watch Salem Shamaly’s last testimony – they have to know.
Last night I woke up in cold sweat – the new reality in the camp does not lend itself for a long sleep; Tomorrow is my birthday; I looked at the monitor, 10 kids were killed by a sniper; a voice in my head was whispering “Hitler was right”; I shook my head to clear it of any thoughts, what’s the point dwelling on such ideas… my hands was moving in the dark checking the gun is still in its place under the pillow, “classy” I thought to myself.
My hand still shakes a bit when I am aiming, also when I am shooting morphine. Not certain which of the abilities I would need first. “Gaza brigade” I mumbled and grinned.
Nabil- A story from 2002
“… Any way I am OK, Not bad, Still alive.
Do you know that the last one who bomb himself is from Dheisheh. He is 19 years old and he filmed himself before he bombed himself in Jerusalem. He is our friend here. He was very nice guy and smart in the same time.” [Sic]
(Email from Nabil, 18 years old, 15 mars 2002, from a hiding place in the West Bank of Palestine)
It was a hot summer day during the summer of 1999 when I first met Nabil. The air was dusty in Dheisheh refugee camp in the West Bank, and we put out some chairs in the sun, blocking a narrow alley and talking about dreams.
He was 15 years of age and had an old key around his neck. The key which was once meant to open a door to a home, to a house which no longer exists; a house in Zakariyya; a village that, along with other 418 villages, was destroyed and depopulated by the Israelis in 1947.
Nabil got his key from his grandfather. The key was not passed to Nabil’s father – it is Nabil’s Generation’s mission to get their families back home. In the meantime, Nabil wished to travel abroad and study IT, so that he could come back and help the Palestinian people in their strive towards a better future through education.
An IT dreamer with a key, and me- keyless. A global trotter- born Israeli who ran away refusing military service, refusing oppressing people, refusing to live where lies, sorrow and blood are the song of life.
That was my first visit to Palestine after 10 years of absence from the region. I was coming back in order to make a film about people’s search for a home.
It was in Ibdaa, the cultural centre of Dheiseh refugee camp, Nabil found his pride and his hope. The centre served hundreds of children, offering various courses and activities. The children were dancing, writing, sculpturing, playing, chatting…Nabil himself was dancing in a traditional dance group and teaching the children, of his refugee camp, how to use the internet as a mean of connecting with the world and finding out about their own roots and heritage.
The youth in the centre felt positive about themselves and their future. A rare sight in a reality where not much can be taken for granted.
At the time of my visit, the centre was set on fire and the internet server stolen. When I went looking for Nabil he was nowhere to be found. Though it was their own centre, the “usual suspects” were summoned, Nabil, with the rest of the youth, were interrogated by the police.
But the dreams did not die, and the people of the refugee camp rebuilt the centre a few months later.
“The soldiers broke opened the doors of Ibdaa Cultural Centre, and positioned snipers on its 4th floor that overlooks the entire camp.”
(email from Nabil, 9 mars 2002)
The first thing I’ve noticed after 10 years of absence was the Palestinian flag. The Palestinian identity was permitted, which was a very emotional realisation for me. The first intifada, which started 1987, was all about the Palestinian flag. Young children were throwing a flag tied to a stone, at the electricity wires. The flag would entangle around the wires and hang there. Next the army would be marching in the village shooting around and making arrests.
30 more teenagers and myself spent a day under police detention for pinning small budges on our T-shirts; with both the Israeli and Palestinian flags. Another friend got arrested for colouring her post-box in what presumably were the Palestinian colours.
But at the summer of 99, a Palestinain flag hang on a improvised stage outside Dheishe. The children from Ibdaa Centre where performing a musical about the freedom of Palestine, and all the people of the refugee camp gathered proudly around, forming half a circle, so that everyone could see. I was a bit in the way, running about with my camera, and young, smiling children throw tiny stoned at me and ran giggling as I pointed the camera at them.
“I watch the children play. They make two groups from themselves; one of these groups is the Palestinian youth and the other is the Israeli soldiers.
SUDDENLY!!! The game starts and then they find themselves not in a game, it has suddenly become reality, the truth. Israeli soldiers start to shoot.
Suddenly there is the sound of the Apache helicopters and the F16s bombing, causing destruction everywhere. It does not matter for them what they are shooting at or what they are bombing.
Some of the children start crying. And the others respond: “You don’t have to cry; you have to defend yourself, your land your family, your friends. You have to struggle for yourself, for Palestine, for a Palestine free from Israelis. Don’t cry; you have to be a man, not a child at this moment.””
(email from Nabil 23 feb 2002)
Childhood is about dreaming, about experimenting within a safe frame. Dheisheh’s alleys deliver non-of the two. The camp is about 1sqkm big, and has a population of ca 11,000 inhabitants- refugees from different villages in Israel, many of which have never settled down, Never dared to start dreaming. As 82 years old Abu Mohammed, a resident of Dheisheh said to Lawsociety: “I have never accepted to be out of my home…I have always dreamt of and still dream of returning to my village. I was offered to purchase some land here in Betlehem. But this is not my place, my place is Zacharia… If I had the opportunity to return to Zacharia and live in a cave, I would prefer it to this house.” (Abu Mohammed, 82, Mai 2000)
But Nabil dared dreaming together with the youth of Ibdaa, of getting education and helping Palestinians to build up a peaceful future. He started by attending the University of BeirZeit.
“I was studying in Beir Zeit University but had to stop because of the condition and the bad situation here. I was study computer and network. But now-a-days I have course in Ramallah, and also planning to leave Palestine, to study out, maybe few weeks or in 2 month I will leave to France, to continue there,” (email from Nabil, 15 Jan 2002)
The course was abruptly stopped and the future plans look further today than ever.
“People are bracing themselves for the worst and they expect a massacre to take place.
Now that the army has imposed a curfew, the soldiers are expected to start their house to house searches and rampages.
…All men ages 14-40 have left the refugee camp. Reports from Tulkarem refugee camp indicate that Israeli soldiers have rounded up all men between the ages of 14-40 and have arrested 400 so far. No one within this age group in Dheisheh is taking any chances. They all left the camp yesterday.”
(Email from Nabil, 9 mars 2002)
“Jewish villages were built in the place of Arab villages. You do not even know the names of these Arab villages, and I do not blame you because Geography books no longer exist, not only the books not exist, the Arab villages are not there either. Nahlal arose instead of Mahlul; Kibbutz Gvat in the place of Jibta; Kibbutz Sarid in the place of Huneifis; and Kefar Yehushuá in the place of Tal as-Shuman. There is not one single place built in this country that did not have a former Arab population.”
Moshe Dayan, Address the Israel Institute of Technology, Haifa (as quoted in Haáretz newspaper, 4 April 1969)
We were told Israel used to be an empty desert with a few foreign troops that were there to kill us all. The Maps on the classroom wall did not mention lines and occupation. This is OUR land. And so we walked her, and learnt to know each and every crick and bird in her. Learnt to love her, her- the motherland.
By the age of two I have heard that I better eat up my porridge or I would not be a good soldier.
At the age of ten I were expelled from school for saying in an English class “I dream of leaving the country”. The English was correct.
By the age of 13 I were expelled again for saying I would not serve the army. A girl friend was put in jail for talking to a 14 years old Moroccan during a vacation in the USA. “Contact with the enemy” they called it. Another friend was arrested and put on trial for drawing a cartoon where Zionist figures were engaged in sex. He was sternly interrogated, pressed to reveal his non-existing funding and command chain presumably originating in Libya.
At 15 I were attacked by 50 angry men and women which have happen to hear me talking to a friend about Martin Luther King and non-violence.
Questioning the state values is not considered legitimate.
Nabil was never able to leave the West Bank and visit Zakariyyeh, but Israeli children can roam the land freely (guarded usually, by armed soldiers). At a class tour during the forth grade we went to Dayr Yassin; what used to be a peaceful Palestinian village on the way to Jerusalem. The book “History of the Hagana” mentions that on 9 April 1948 the troops carried out a massacre “without discriminating among men and women, children and old people”. The New York Times, at the time, reported that ten houses had been blown up in the village and that the attackers blew open doors and threw hand grenades into others. More than half of the 245 victims was women and children.
The teacher told us that the massacre was a result of a misunderstanding on the radio, between the different Jewish troops. The misunderstanding resulted in an exodus of thousands of frightened Palestinians from their homes, as they saw the Jewish troops approaching. Homes, as we were told, they could not return to because of an “abandoned property law”.
“It was a violent attack. There was a massacre in Deir Yassin, where the entire population – including women and children – were killed. Haganah [the Jewish troops] threatened that they would kill us like the Palestinians in Deir Yassin if we did not leave our homes. They used Deir Yassin to set an example and force many other Palestinians to leave their homes. Haganah also killed people in Zacharia.” (Abu Mohammed, 82, Mai 2000 to Lawsociety)
Coming back to Palestine after ten years I were hoping to see miracles.I did not.I saw a Palestinian flag.I saw check points, which filled me with the hope that the jewish youth is aware of the true history of the region… but no, the israelis have built a second set of roads, going mostly underground, under the Palestinians. One can travel the occupied territories without seeing a single Palestinian, and perhaps soon there would be none to be seen. First the lies were created, then reality was changed to fit them.
During the ninth of Mars “Over 40 tanks were surrounding the camp, with the helicopters which were bombing the camp and more then 1000 solders they were moving in the camp, they used to destroy the walls of the houses in order to move from house to another…” (Nabil, 20 mars 2002)
8 houses were demolished, 50 badly damaged, Nabil’s sister was shot to death as she was looking out the window and two of his best friends were killed. 800 were arrested, among them Nabil.
While taking a huge risk for his life, he managed to escape and go hiding underground.
“To make certain that no one in Dheisheh who is injured will receive medical treatment, the soldiers and tanks surrounded al-Yamama Hospital down the street from Dheisheh yesterday Israeli troops have also dug up the Jerusalem-Hebron Road leading from Dheisheh to Bethlehem to make sure that ambulances can’t reach the camp and that no injured can be transported to hospital.”
(Nabil 9 mars)
The head of the Yamama hospital was shoot in the head and killed. Wounded Palestinians are hiding inside the churches of Bethlehem after the Umar Ibn al-Khattab mosque was heavily shelled by tanks. Medical assistance has not been able to reach them due to the presence of Israeli snipers and nearby tanks. Journalists have been arrested. Ambulances en route have been crushed.
Last I’ve heard from Nabil was two weeks ago. He was still alive.
Nabil’s mother turned very ill, and risking his life, he sneaked back into the refugee camp trying to get her to the hospital.
“…I call one of my friend he is journalist and when he know that I am in the home he become like crazy cause he sow me there with the Israeli army and he shocked when he know that I skip and when I succeed to skip, he told me don’t move I will come right now to pig you with your mother to the hospital, and after 10 mint he come to the home with 10 journalist out side of Palestine, they took me and my mother with them and the give me camera to let the Israeli know that I am journalist and finally I succeed to reach the hospital with my mother.”[SIC]
(Nabil, 20 mars 2002)
Three years of daily exchange of mails, letter and picture with the friends I have made in Palestine, took me in a vortex back into a land of no-childhood, of death, of diminishing hope.
Two weeks of silent is a long time. The area is shelled heavily. Tens are dead. Internet servers and phone networkss are down- It is there my hope still lies.
As for two weeks ago, Nabil was taking care of his ill mother and younger siblings, in a situation of a curfew, of fear, of lack of food, Water, milk, medicine.
His grandfather, who gave him a key and a mission, is dead. I believe that as long as his mother is alive, he would try to do the same- to stay alive.
A communication that started with dance and dreams turned into a cry for help. Shuttering ten years of ease of my mind.
Uldi Tironi, do you need a reporter from the frontlines? I am ready.
Ready to go searching for a key tied to a broken dream. Perhaps my own.
As I write those last lines it is the evening of the 9th of April. A massacre is taking place, in Jenin refugee camp in the West Bank, for the second day in a raw. Houses being destroyed upon their inhabitants, mass graves, tens of bodied of all ages rotting in the hot streets, foot walking second time refugees. At that stage the near by Hospitals at Nablus have 70 injured patients, including 14 babies, and ran out of supply, especially oxygen. 10 ambulances ready to evacuate the dead and injured from Jenin to Nablus, and an ICRC oxygen truck came under fire from Israeli soldiers and were stopped. We are yet to know to size of the massacre.
When peace loses its meaning where do we go to next?
“They ask us why we explode and bomb ourselves inside Jerusalem or inside, what they call it, their state? Hope one of you knows why?”
(Nabil, 20 mars 2002)
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“… Any way I am OK, Not bad, Still alive.
Do you know that the last one who bomb himself is from Dheisheh. He is 19 years old and he filmed himself before he bombed himself in Jerusalem. He is our friend here. He was very nice guy and smart in the same time.” [Sic]
(Email from Nabil, 18 years old, 15 mars 2002, from a hiding place in the West Bank of Palestine)
I find myself revisiting this land, of broken dreams, anger and despair and in it I find many old friends whom I dearly love.
How many tears would it take to wake up the sleeping world?
Hourly massacres in Gaza and the cry of beautiful people in the dream to be alive, to have a life – took me back to another reality, far far away 2002. Publishing this version as I found it. The article was first published in 2002 at Rigas Laiks 2 3 4 5 6
A letter to spider.
Sorry for having vanished.
How are you doing?
I believed you have asked me what I look like… Shaved hair, when it is not shaved it is ginger, when it is long it is curly. Very pale skin… Still not the skin of a person who grew up in a place with no sun, like Scotland, but a freckly skin of a person who spent her youth running half naked under the desert sun (from the few times I ran fully naked I still have scars).
Dark brown eyes, that are easy to get into pure laughter and joy, but are also easily sad.
Spider, I am very sad these days. I watch closely as our families, the family of all of us, are being massacred in Palestine. One second there is a demonstration, the next second two boys are executed, their smiling hopeful eyes loosing all sparks. One second people are praying at the mosque celebrating God and Ramadan, the next 21 people are dead, 18 of the same family. Palestine is being massacred.
Nature, theatre, dance, literature, agroforestry, plant medicine, creativity… all that I am is drowned and melted in anger and despair – can anything come out of me that would actually help?
It must sound sick, but I am better being where the things are happening. Is it the adrenaline or a genetic affiliation with troubles? I always stay so calm and clear when the world is falling apart around me.. But being away… I am frustrated and useless. Feeling so pointless being where I am.
A new wave of thoughts has just crossed my path, as if running across the field chasing the last rays of the sun as it vanishes behind the trees, and in doing so my old trail of ideas vanishes never to be found again.
So I leave you with that.
With the last traces of light, I am only left with heavy feelings, and no words to accompany them.
My thoughts and love with you
AXxX
nature song 